Mild Confrontation With Naked Man in Sauna

If you're in Japan, you'll probably take this as an understatement when I say that sometimes, Japanese people treat foreigners differently than they would ever treat each other. In my opinion Fukuoka is the most foreigner-friendly place in Japan (or at least, so nonchalant about foreigners that they generally treat us the same as everyone else), but every now and then I have a mild run-in.

This example actually isn't that bad, and if you judge it by western standards of conduct it'll probably come off as petty or just nit-picking minutiae. But it explains some aspects of life in Japan pretty well, so I thought it might make an interesting story.

Generally, in Japan you don't talk to strangers. Everyone keeps a polite psychological distance. If you do talk to someone you don't know for whatever reason, you're friendly and polite about it, or at least very, very, apologetic for intruding on their space. My gym has a sauna, hot bath and lounge that I relax in after a workout. It's basically about as quiet and relaxing as my own home. Turns for things like using the dryer are settled with eye-contactless looks or respectful little nods.

The area has free disposable razors and toothbrushes, and cheap plastic brushes (the teeth are made of thick plastic) and combs. When you finish with the brushes, you put them in a dirty tray and they get sterilized for re-use.

Anyway, I was in the sauna, and while I didn't realize it, I guess I was scratching my leg a bit with the brush. Suddenly, I heard someone go "Hey! Hey!"

I turned around, and this Japanese guy was looking at me. He told me not to scratch my leg with the brush, because that's not what it's for.

I could point out that objectively, applying the brush end to my leg doesn't really dirty it any more or less than pushing it through my hair does, or that either way, it'll be sterilized before anyone else uses it anyway. But while true, both those things miss the point.

To understand how rude that is, you have to understand Japan. No Japanese person would ever say something like that to a Japanese stranger of equal status, even if whatever he was doing genuinely was rude or boorish. Aside from invading my space, he was acting like it was his place to tell me what to do, and mine to listen to him.

I smiled and thanked him for his advice, and went right back to scratching my leg with it. Spiteful I guess, but I wanted to make a point.

He must have felt embarrassed about it, because as I left the sauna he said I'm sorry. I turned to him and said it wasn't his place to tell me what to do any more than it was to tell anyone else. He said, "It's public opinion". I just thanked him for his advice again, this time with more sarcasm, and left the sauna.

Later on, I was in the lounge, where people read, doze, or watch little TVs built into their reclining chairs, with audio that softly comes through the headrests. You're supposed to keep quiet, and talking on a cell phone is prohibited.

I hear some guys yapping away about work. It goes on a few minutes, and it's starting to get irritating. I turn around, and...it's the same guy!

I couldn't resist- I turned around, told them some of us were trying to sleep and asked them if they could please stop talking. They switched to whispers for minute, and then the guy's friend got up and moved to another seat further from him and started reading a newspaper. Probably sounds pretty mild if you're back in North America, but like I said, that's some pretty presumptuous stuff to do to others here.

Not trying to make it out like some kind of tough-guy confrontation, or I like I stared him down...that's not the point. In fact, if there's any moral to it, it's that when I made the same kind of demand, he obliged. So if I see him again I'll pay him the same respect, and refrain from letting my brush touch any part of my body but my hair.